Selfless

I've been pondering this word for a few days now. I'm not convinced that even I fully understand it, but I can say this, most of the world -especially nowadays- does not. Maybe because it isn't an easy thing to live or maybe because there is not a single person I know of that can claim title 100% of the time.

Why even bother? Because we are called to. One of my favorite passages from the Bible is John 15:13. I love it so much that I'm thinking about making it a second tattoo. (And, no, I'm not one of those heavily tattooed people. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I have one already. A cherry blossom with 1Cor. 13:4-8, 13 curved around it. My absolute favorite verse.) Sorry to digress. Anyway, it states, "No greater love hath man than he would lay down his life for another." Disclaimer: there are different translations of the Bible. So you may have read it slightly differently, but I like this translation best.

Many would read those words and immediately conclude that the passage refers to actually, physically dying for someone else. I don't interpret it that way. To me it means giving up one's self interests, desires, and, yes, even sometimes needs for the sake of someone else. It means you don't always get your own way nor do you always want to get your own way. You sacrifice your wants, needs for those of another human being.

Why would you do that, you might ask? Out of love! Woah, now, slow down. Wait a minute and don't go jumping to conclusions here. There are many forms of love. You don't have to be in a relationship with the person. You may not even know them. More likely, you do, of course and you are extremely close - somehow.

Example: If anyone reading has children, you know exactly what I am talking about. There are times that we parents go without (something) so that our children can have something. I have been blessed to have one son. He is, in general, a good kid. Every person has their little quirks and their moments! There are times that I put his needs before my own. Okay, many times, but if I'm being completely honest, not ALL the time. I can remember being knock-down, drag-out sick one day. He was nine at the time. Just last year. It was one of those days, you know? My head was about to split open, even having my eyes open to see light hurt and aspirin wasn't helping. It was also spinning, possibly because I hadn't really been able to coax any food to stay in my stomach. All I wanted, and probably needed, at the time was to sleep. But in our house there is just the two of us, me and him. He is a pretty independent kid, but when he's hungry sometimes he needs help making his food. So, I got up and made him something to eat. Any parent has done it before. Selfless.

Example 2: Now, I have to forewarn you some of you will think I'm nuts. I'm not trying to, in any way, pat myself on the back here. Just trying to illustrate a point. (And probably give you insight as to why this concept of "selfless" has been sticking in my head.)

I have a boyfriend who has a son that does not live in the same state. It's summer and visiting time. All of us have jobs and need to work. I have the privelege of being a teacher (more on that at a later date I'm sure). That means I do not have to report to work during the summer. (Please read between the lines at this point to see that I did NOT say I don't work during the summer. I just have....a more flexible schedule shall we say.) I suggested that they stay with my son and I in our home over the summer. It would make things easier. He would have time away from his roommate. His son and my son could share a room - bunk beds are wonderful. They would have each other for company to play with as they are both only children and he wouldn't have to pay anyone for daycare.

They are going to be with us a grand total of 8 weeks. Three have gone by and they haven't been bad at all. There have been adjustments, sure. There were bound to be adjustments. My son and I have to adjust to summer time any given summer because the routine changes, the expectations change. We roll with it the best we can.

My boyfriend works long hours. Sometimes he leaves the house at 7 in the morning and doesn't get back until 9 that night. When he gets home, he wants to spend that time with his son. We talk and we are all basically together. However, his focus is his son - as it should be.  And, yes, at times I feel myself - my selfish self - saying "that's not fair". I know, I know. On the one hand you all are thinking you wouldn't put up with that. On the other, some of you are thinking I sound like a kid myself with all this it's not fair stuff.

That's where the thinking part came in. When I took a step back and examined how I was feeling and the specifics of the situation I agree! I sounded exactly like a spoiled little brat! I needed to be selfless. Here is my reasoning. I needed to look at the big picture, not my own little corner of it. Sure I would like to have my boyfriend's attention. However, what was the most important thing in the situation? Right! Him spending time with his son. So, for these 8 weeks I am in the back seat. I have put my wants and possibly needs aside to make sure that he has that time and that his son has that time also. I get time with my boyfriend the rest of the year that his son doesn't. Wouldn't it be selfish of me not to recognize that and keep things in perspective?

Most people would read this and think I'm crazy or any number of other less than flattering terms. I challenge them to think differently. The current culture of ME FIRST is, in my opinion, one of the most disheartening trends. We all need to be a little more selfless at times. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we practiced it even just a little more?

In Him ~ Sandra D